T: Is For Thanksgiving

  When I was young I believed I was destined to be Great! I thought I would be the one to change the world! I wanted to do BIG things. Big humanitarian things. I felt these feelings with every ounce of my being. Then in college I veered onto a path that would change my life forever. Even though I met and married the love of my life the path I ventured on became dark and windy. I no longer felt like I would be great, let alone change the world. I was in a downward spiral losing everyone and everything around me. during that time I had a hard time finding anything to be thankful about.
  Now it's hard to imagine that I once felt that way-so hopeless. No matter what kind of life we are currently living there is always hope and always something to be thankful for. As I sit here with my family I smile because I have many things to be thankful for; my family,my home,my friends,wisdom,a job,health,a car and much much more but more importantly my happiness and willingness to live,really LIVE.
13-14 years ago I would've never thought I would get to where I am now. Brimming with thankfulness and gratitude. From where I was at then I did do big things! I changed my world for the better. I had finally found a fork on that damn dark path and the one I chose had a light that I could at the time dimly see-but it was there at least! And here I am-here we are gathered round on thanksgiving night happy,warm,full and knowing how far we've come and how far we will go.

Middle Class Rant

  I am rich-in that I have a great family and friends.  I have kids that I love and a good marriage. My kids go to a good public school and partake in after school activities. I am lucky enough to live across the street from my parents,brother and grandmother. Our family lives in the suburbs and have a big yard.  My life is full of riches but when it comes to money we are far from rich. And that is okay. We both work hard and live paycheck to paycheck. We don't own our home or drive a fancy car. In fact my car is on its last legs(ok wheels). what is not okay though is that while we bust our butts everyday there are people on welfare who are capable of working eating better than us,driving new cars,going to the dentist,texting for free,going on vacations, wearing brand new clothes etc. 

 Now don't get me wrong- government assistance can be a God send to someone who has fallen upon tough times but not used for a lifetime. It is just so frustrating to work hard and to be raped by taxes while people who work the system don't have to worry about getting sick and wonder how they're  going to foot the bill. They don't have to worry about putting food on the table for their kids. 

We are a married couple with kids and in this day and age you are almost punished instead of commended.

Breathe

Sigh. I let out a long breath. I had been holding my breath again without even realizing it. I have always done this for as long as I can remember but lately it has become more and more frequent. Sometimes my husband even reminds me to breathe if we are watching tv and he notices. I seem to hold my breath while I'm watching  tv or when I'm thinking. And I'm always thinking. As for this occurring more and more often it appears that while my children age my brain thinks more and more. It becomes so full of pieces of information  not only pertaining to myself or my work but of each of my children and my husband. Keeping track of bills and homework,kid's birthday parties,health insurance, car registration,appointments, phone calls,meetings,after school activities. The list goes on.
Breathe.....
While working or driving going about my day I have constant chatter going on in my brain. I am constantly adding bills and  subtracting money from my bank account in my head trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for everything every month. And now....breathe...Christmas...
The chatter in my head increases ten fold. The gifts the Tree the dinners and decorating. I'm afraid this year I'm going to hold my breath so long I'm going to pass out ' and if I do it will probably be somewhere in the toy aisle..
If I'm lucky enough some other shopper will find me and bring me back to earth and I will stand-and my head will start to spin ' omg what am I going to make for dinner? Did I wash my daughter's soccer uniform? I have to buy a stamp....'
For the love of god-breathe....

Family Sunday

Today we started and completed a family project we had been planning on doing for the past couple weeks. We had been gathering soda bottles from soda drinkers and the other day we finally got the 6 two liter bottles we needed to make 2 self contained ecosystems. 
Without getting into the details the one bottle contains pond life and the other bottle which is inverted into the bottom bottle simulates ground life. The two share water and oxygen.
Anyway it was such a fun project to do together and will continue to provide learning.
First we took a trip to the petstore to purchase some aquatic plants and tiny snails. While we were there we also bought 2 male and 2 female guppies which we hope will reproduce. When we then purchased the crickets we had to get 15 even though we only needed 5. 
When we got home we went to our compost pile for some soil and the kids had fun searching for the other 2 components of our project-pill bugs and earthworms!
Daddy had cut the bottles for us and in the bottom bottles we put aquarium gravel down and poured 2 fish in each one along with the snails and plants. In the top bottles we also put gravel in first then soil,worms,bugs and crickets. Then we planted grass seed. 
The kids are having so much fun watching the bugs crawling Around. What cheap pets!!
The worms are making tunnels in the dirt and since the bottles are clear you can actually see what they have made underground! https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh499EVb3WBpmjlOl4ZePkSDWDVVy1CgJWnhHs804Dx7Svfz-mBo5FLvUzNJogyEm2Uccm3vrMpfTjQe9pdHmIrK9ibGUBkMDcvRqbICMBQiL9a-bTDrBsKs1olFfrrps3YO4_kt8yQd5-6/s1600/photo-711278.JPG
A few of the 'extra' crickets now have a new home in an outside terrarium and the rest were reluctantly let go. 
All in all it was a great family day together and we got to all enjoy the glorious weather outside as well!

Winter Blues

   Yup it's that dreaded time of year again. Every fall I tell myself that I won't let the short days of  the approaching winter affect me,but every winter I fall prey to winter's griping cold fingers.
And so it has begun-right on schedule. After the holidays and all the festivities are over and the days have been shortened for a couple of months I begin to long for the warmth of spring-for longer days of sunshine. It's not just a longing but a need. My body and my mind cannot handle what the winter brings me each year. 
I think I am a strong person,that is until mid January and worst still-February approaches. These months catapult me into a dark lonely place. I grow bored yet don't feel like doing anything. I grow tired although I cant sleep. My body aches and I get a chill I cannot rid myself from. My motivation wanes and I beat myself up for feeling this way. 
I questioned if I brought this on myself. Did I talk myself into this winter depression yearly? I found the answer to be no. Even when I did not think about it,id then all of sudden realize I was in the throws of a winter depression. Ugh. 
Even though the  days are shorter they drag on. Every chore that needs to get done seems like so much effort. 
O winter why do you hate me so!?

O Christmas tree

🎄   One of my favorite parts of Christmas is the Christmas tree. The day after thanksgiving we start to see pines laying on the roofs of cars,strapped down by rope. Others are seen stuffed in trunks that are half open. Tree stands pop up everywhere-people trying to make a buck. It is so common of a tradition but yet a favorite of mine that has much meaning to me.
First you have to pick out a tree. This involves getting the family together. Second we cut a piece of the trunk off,drill a hole in it and turn it into an ornament adorned with the current year. Thirdly we string the lights and the best part-hanging the ornaments! O the joy of unwrapping each fragile ornament from it's paper! The memories each one holds. Ornaments of my childhood,ornaments the kids have made,ornaments given in memory of ones held dear. The fOurth reason I love the Christmas tree is it's beautiful glow and twinkle when all else is dark. It brings out it's charm and warms my heart like hot cocoa does my hands.
O Christmas tree-without you the season wouldn't be complete!

No More Pencils No More Books

No More Pencils No More Books
No More Teacher's Dirty Looks
Alright I am offically feeling like an adult even though I
legally became one 13 years ago. Ok I don't exactly feel like one but
I offically realize I AM one. Friday my oldest daughter finished
first grade! Throughout the year I volunteered at her school and have
never been called Mrs Savin as many times than the whole 11 years I
HAVE been Mrs Savin. I'll tell you the first time the teacher called
me that it really threw me for a loop! Who me?
Thursday my stepson graduated 11th grade AND got his liscence! Seems
like yesterday that he and his class were singing Backstreet Boys 'Bye
Bye Bye' at kindergarten graduation!